Don't Bother Trying
by Splendifying
Summary: In a war against Abbadon Crowley is desperate and forced to call in help from anywhere he can get no matter how much he doesn't want to. (rated T for vague torture and some mild language.)


Don't bother trying, I can't change.

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...I personally don't care much for this but it is my first story that I'm actually uploading on here, so I guess whatever. I'll probably use Luka a lot. this was meant to be a one-time thing but I was thinking if people actually like it it may become a series featuring other characters with an actual back story on Luka that's not all angsty and blah. Hopefully it's not too bad. ouo

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Crowley winced as he heard the furious shouting from down the hall. The angels had fallen and Abbadon had taken the throne of hell, ranging attack after attack in her attempt to gain the demon tablet in order to open all of the gates of hell. Desperate measures had to be taken to insure the security of earth. Any demon serving Abbadon that was caught was tortured and killed without mercy…although many of hell's best torturers were among Abaddon's ranks. Lost relics were called in, some not even demons.

…

Luka Finn was a very young girl, a therian; a person born with the soul of an animal that can morph into that animal at will. Luka also had the ability to bring her imagination to life in the form of drawing or doodles. She had talent in drawing, even without her abilities...and she was just as talented with a blade. Luka wasn't a demon per say but she had once sold her soul on the crossroads, as a measure of desperation Crowley had called the teen 3 years early and offered a trade. Luka could keep her soul another ten years in exchange for her help as a torturer.

Crowley had never been as surprised as he was when she said no, that she'd do it until she was no longer needed, but only if he promised to take her right afterwards. She sold her soul for the safety of her father, and he could recall her empty eyes meeting his when she said that she no longer wanted to hurt like that, that she was ready to turn into something that couldn't feel. Crowley accepted her proposal.

…

"You know he's alive, your daddy!" the demon screeched mockingly. Luka blinked at her new toy as her eyes got wide; this toy had a death wish! Luka calmly began filling a syringe with holy oil. "You were such a disappointment; remember how he used to yell? Remember how many times you stood up for him because he was your hero?" the demon writhed and screamed as she stuck the need violently into its leg and injected the substance.

"I GAVE EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING HAD TO BE HIS WAY; HE COULDN'T TRUST ME TO MAKE ONE SINGLE CALL WHEN IT MATTERED! MOM USE TO SAY SHE WAS GOING TO HAVE HIM PUT IN JAIL AND I'D NEVER SEE HIM, I SPENT MY ENTIRE CHILDHOOD PRAYING AND WISHING ON EVERY STAR AND BIRTHDAY CAKE THAT HE'D BE OKAY, AND HE WOULDN'T EVEN LOOK AT ME WHEN I NEEDED!" She screamed, panting heavily, as she ignored the demons cries and whimpers for mercy. "I TRIED SO HARD TO LISTEN TO HIM! WHY THE HELL COULDN'T HE SEE WHEN I WAS CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT! I GREW UP HOW EVERYONE TOLD ME TO AND HE COULDN'T EVEN SEE ME! I DID EVERYTHING TO BE THERE FOR HIM AND HE JUST WATCHED AND SAID THE SAME THINGS OVER AND OVER AGAIN LIKE THEY WOULD FUCKING HELP!" she shrieked, dragged a demon-knife in an intricate pattern across the demon's cheek, unbothered by her thrashing. "I GAVE UNTIL I HAD NOTHING LEFT, UNTIL I WAS NOTHING! I HAD NO ONE, NOT UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE!" she started shaking slightly, as she began recreating the pattern on the other side. "I WAS BULLIED EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE! THEY ALL CALLED ME EVERY NAME THEY COULD THINK OF!" she slashed lightly at the demons throat, not enough to kill but enough to sting.

"My friends, when I finally managed to make real ones…they gave me so much… it really hurt

that I had nothing real to give back. I was 11 when I first tried to kill myself. Things were so simple then, I regret every day not being strong enough to end my own life." She said, slightly out of breath, as she looked into the demons eyes. Luka stood up straight lifted her head up a bit, carelessly brushing some hair out of her face. "When my savior, my stepmom finally came, I let her down too, that wasn't her fault though, I was so misguided as a child, so fucking happy, so arrogant. I hardly got to see my sisters or friends anyway, they'd forget in time." Luka said, her eyes starting to water. She ground her teeth defiantly, and swallowed thickly. She would not cry in front of anyone, she hated that.

"I spent years blaming everyone, and hating everyone. It was me, I just couldn't do it. I can't do it." She murmured, stepping back ad leaning against a tray of torture supplies. "I lost it all, I was so afraid of annoying people or letting them down, that I just can't interact anymore. I can't do anything without feeling judged, every social interaction was terrifying. I hate to fight with my dad; he was my hero…that much is true. I thought maybe taking the last year and just doing it that way would be good. I thought I'd get better, maybe be less traumatized by all those people, maybe I'd be able to do one page of homework without losing it thinking every whisper, laugh, and dirty look was directed at me. I thought maybe I'd be happy; I'd have a chance to prove how good I could be. Maybe I could breathe for once because every time anyone looked my way, I couldn't." She stared at the ground with a heavy sigh.

"I tried to not ask for much. But apparently that was too much. Every time he opened his mouth part of me was ripped away." She said calmly. The demons eyes softened ever so slightly. "My father isn't dead in the sense he still walks this earth and breathes, and has a pulse. They're all dead because I have nothing left to give. I'm empty now, I spent my life giving and giving as much as I could manage, I mean I wasn't a saint I did plenty wrong too…but I'm empty now. All I got was pain, and abuse. Love came too late, and I probably deserved that, I was probably always this fucked up. All I can give now is what's left, which is why I'm here now." She said, lifting her head up more and rolling her shoulders slightly.

"I appreciate the love and care they gave, it's what made life bearable, but my dad was my everything once, he was all I had to hold onto and even though I had more, him just saying those things and treating me like one little mistake made me worthless and if I did one thing I was worthless. So many people say I'm worthless." She said, taking a deep and shaky breath, before swallowing. "I'd rather live alone, and that's what I did. I didn't care what happened to me, because I put up with so much bullshit, from everyone and he was supposed to make it all better, but he only made it worse. I started stealing, and trying all these drugs, not because I wanted to feel good but because I wanted to die, I'm 18 years old and I can't wait until I die." She said, emptiness reflecting in watery eyes,

"You could tell him." The demon croaked in a hoarse whisper. Luka eyed the wall behind the demon "I don't talk. I draw, and write, and blog about my problems, or just bottle them up." She said with a hint of bitterness. The demon sank into the chair it was chained to. "You could try." It persisted. Luka's eyes flashed to the demons'. "I tried with everything I had. I can't anymore. This is something he'll have to do, if he wants to see his daughter still intact then he'll have to give back some of what I used to have." She said flatly.

The demon didn't even have time to flinch and she threw the demon blade at it, nailing it perfectly in the throat, and killing it. Luka swallowed the lump growing in her throat but allowed one tear to fall, before she brushed it thickly away. All that was left of her now was this repulsive shell that held nothing but gore and agony. Her father, and friends, and sisters, and her beloved stepmother weren't dead. She however was bleeding out…

Crowley pulled away from the door slowly, his mind drifting back to the moments when Sam Winchester had almost cured him of being a demon, and all the pain he felt. He never thought when he'd hold any pity for the once defiant teen. He could end his suffering if he chose. She would always hurt. Although, he reminded himself she would one day rival Alastair if she made it to hell.


End file.
